I’ve recently had a series of what you could call, tragic irony, happen to me. If not that, at the very least, it’s something so absurd and unimaginable, that it’s funny.
It’s so sad and almost evil in a way, that I can’t help but laugh and wonder, why me?
I’m just gonna spill the story right away. There’s no need to lead up to some dramatic reveal.
Anyways, what is this twisted and diabolical series of events that has happened to me that’s it’s almost as if someone’s playing some sort of ungodly trick?
Well, the past 2 weeks have been interesting, to say the least. I downloaded a dating app, much related to the last post I made, and during my short lived experience on this unnamed dating app, I was able to talk quite a few people, though 3 in particular and a fourth one, whom I didn’t meet on the dating app, stand out.
What makes these 4 people unique? They all had the same story in a certain way. Obviously, they were all different, but I mean that, they seemed to be in the same chapter in their lives.
What was that chapter?
They had all just “broken” up with their significant other, all of which were long term relationships. The longest being a 7-year relationship, and the shortest being just over a year.
What makes it even weirder is that all the people I talked to had also JUST broken up with their boyfriends, too. Again, the longest being just under 2 months broken up, and the shortest being literally the day before I started talking to her.
While I could go on and on about the reasoning behind these girls almost immediately turning to a dating app to mask the feelings of loneliness of post-breakup, I think I made it pretty clear in my last post I made An Unhealthy Way of Dealing With Insecurities.
The thing I’m more interested in was, not only were all the girls in a similar situation, but every interaction with them began and ended in the same way, with some minor differences.
Each interaction began with us connecting, seemingly on a profound level. We talked, related, and shared back and forth all of our problems, thoughts, and feelings. Somewhat early on, they made it known that they had just broken up with their partner, again, very recently. All of them said the same thing, more or less: I still love him, but I can’t be with him… or at least some form of that.
We talked very frequently for a few days, sharing so much, like we were old friends catching up. Then, almost unexpectedly, but actually expected in a weird way, they wrote a long paragraph of how they can’t do this anymore.
Some said it was because they loved their ex still, others said it was just “too much to handle right now”, but all in all, it was the same general message: they felt guilty.
Guilty for what? I’m not gonna really speculate here, but I have a few ideas, though it doesn’t actually matter.
The bigger question I had for myself was actually this: Why me?
Why was it me who had to be the emotional tampon that had to listen and “be there for them”? Why was it me who had to be the one who got cut off?
I felt so awful about myself each time it happened, but then I realized something….
Maybe it was me who had to be put through all of this because I was the right person for the job. Because I had gone through a similar situation, it was ME who had the compassion AND experience to properly deal with these issues, along with the right thing to say.
Maybe it was me who had to deal with this because I was the person who had the things to say that they NEEDED to hear. I wasn’t judgmental or rude when they vented their problems, but rather, I was kind and responsive, but most importantly, able to relate.
Then all of this makes me wonder then, now, was it I who was meant to help them, or was it them who were meant to help me?
Because I will admit, they did, in a weird way, help me deal with my own problems, too.
All I know was I gave them each the best advice I could give at the time, and, from what I could tell, it really seemed to help. And I’m not trying to call myself a damn saint or something, but I’m saying that we all play a role in everyone’s life we interact with.
While some roles may be a mere bystander; an extra in a bigger picture. Sometimes, our our role is much bigger. It’s to be there for someone, even for only a single, short chapter in their lives, but it’s still an important chapter.
But that doesn’t mean you weren’t important, in fact, sometimes characters in stories have a way of “coming back” later in the book.
But, ya never know now, do you?
thanks for reading,