As I write this, there’s only one question that comes to mind.
Why don’t things work out?
Do you ever feel like that enough shit has happened in your life, enough people have hurt you, put you down, lied to you, or whatever it is, you feel like you deserve something to work out?
And that “something” can be anything. A job, a grade, a relationship.
I think I fell into this trap. I believed that because of all the crap I’ve had to deal with, I deserved to have something work out for me, and that was my first mistake.
The thing is, in the process of feeling sorry for myself, I lost the core value I hold most dear to myself: Humility.
Here’s the reality of everything. It doesn’t matter what you did, who you are, or what’s happened to you; you don’t—none of us deserve shit. We have to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and beating our selves up, yes. But we also have to make sure we don’t think we deserve special treatment or for things to automatically go in our favor because of “what we’ve been through”.
I’m sitting here in my bed tonight writing this, and although it’s easy to feel like I don’t deserve to feel the way I do, that’s just the thing. It’s not that I do or don’t deserve to feel how I feel, but I also don’t necessarily deserve to feel happy either.
Like I said, I need to be more humble. I have to remember everyone else out there has their own battles their facing, and no one deserves to fight a battle we, ourselves, refuse to fight.
The only thing I can do at this point is one thing:
Accept life how it is and move on. It’s hard, but I think it’s put best in the quote that I know has been quoted countless times…..
It doesn’t get easier, you just get stronger.
thanks for reading,