The one thing I’ve learned over the past several months more than anything is this:
People are weird.
Now, this doesn’t seem like a surprising thing to say because let’s face it; people are weird. There are a lot of weird people out there.
But the truth of the matter is this, most of the time, your typical interaction with someone will be “normal”. In that I mean nothing extraordinary will happen, and for the most part, it will be fairly predictable.
Though, I feel like I’m digressing.
The situation I’m in is definitely not unheard of. Although somewhat unfortunate, I’m sure to find plenty of people have gone through something similar and/or worse.
Again, that’s not the point here.
My actual point in this post is the fact that I CAN find people who’ve shared similar and/or worse situations than my current one. Not only that, but in such a way where it almost mirrors my experience.
And I find this weird that people of completely different cultures, different backgrounds, different beliefs and experiences can, at a core human level, be so similar.
And that’s nothing groundbreaking to find out either. Science and evolutionary psychology has taught us that as we’ve evolved, we’ve developed certain traits, habits, and modes of behavior that is common among all humans and other species.
For example, one particular commonality that can be found in many species is the hypergamous behavior of animals when choosing a partner. This can take the form of trying to find a partner that is better genetically in that their physical features are biologically superior. This can also take the form of a more social hypergamy in that the social value is higher in your partner than in your own. This behavior is mostly associated with human mating strategies, but can be found elsewhere in other species.
And the reason I bring this point up, along with the point i made in my first paragraph is because a lot of times we associate humans with having this free, conscious choice of their behavior, when, at a deeper level, could, in fact, be argued it is just a biological force of habit, and the choice he or she is making is a deep rooted, genetically fueled, unconscious choice.
And I do find it odd how someone can go from one extreme behavior to the opposite end of that extreme behavior spectrum. At face value, this observation is particularly weird, and you might ask yourself, “well how could someone do that?”.
But, as I’ve dived deeper into evolutionary psychology, I’ve found out that the behavior I’m seeing is, indeed, not weird, but biologically sound.
And this puts a weird twist in the whole plot line of my particular story relative to the current situation I’m facing. It makes me wonder is this person making a decision of their own free-standing choice, or is it so deeply biologically rooted that it was never a choice to begin with, but rather, was always meant to happen this way.
And maybe this is a weird way of coping with the outcomes that have happened, but I feel like, at the same time, it’s relieving to understand all this. It brings a strange, yet soothing comfort knowing that what I’m going through is not unique.
I guess the best comparison I can think of to this would be like this: Say you went to the doctor, and you know something is up. After a long diagnosis, the doctor finally comes back to give you your results. You find out you have an early stage of cancer. At first, you might be horrified and hopeless. But then, at the same time, you get this strange sense of relief. That’s because you realize, although the hand you’ve been dealt is not ideal, it’s also not like you can’t do anything. In the case of the cancer situation, your doctor informs you that it is almost completely curable. And that is very relieving.
And that’s what I’m gonna keep doing. I’m going to understand that my current set of circumstances are not what I would like to be in, but at least I know that I can do something about it.
Thanks for reading,