An Honest Conversation With Myself

Today is February 28th, 2021, also known as the very last day of the second month of the year (if it’s not a leap year). 

What’s significant about this day? It’s a day where 80-90% of people who embarked on their “New Year’s Resolution” have now officially put it off till next year. From my understanding, after 6-8 weeks, the majority of people who signed up for that gym membership, or decided to start writing every day, or meditating every morning, have not only stopped, but have almost set back into their old ways as if the previous 2 months didn’t exist. 

So then, how am I doing on my New Year’s Resolution?

That’s my secret; I didn’t have one. 

I’d be curious to know what percentage of the population actually makes a new year’s goal. I’m sure I could just google it, but I’d be skeptical of the accuracy of the results. To be honest, I’ve always been skeptical of survey results as often time the survey size is quite small, as well as I feel as if only a certain kind of person actually answers surveys (accurately, too).

Regardless, most people I know don’t actually make a new year’s resolution, or at least, they don’t seem to act as if they do. Maybe they’re being secretive?

Still, I’ve asked them in that half-joking, half-serious manner, “So what’s your New Year’s Resolution?”, to which I almost always get the response of “I don’t have one”.

I’ve never really put much thought into that statement because honestly, I fell into the same boat. I’ve actually not had a real goal in years except that of vague ambiguous statements like “To have a good year”, or “Do better than last year”. 

And this has not really bothered me because, for the most part, I’ve done exactly that. I’ve had subsequent better years than the last. I’ve made big career changes, financial changes, relationship and overall quality of life changes. 

But there’s this feeling I’ve had over the past year that I have no choice but to give attention to, and that feeling comes in the form of a question to myself:

So what now?

And that really is the question. What now? Am I supposed to keep grinding and applying for jobs every year attaining another step above where I was the previous year? Do I just fall into the trap of lifestyle creep, whereas my income increases, so does the quality of my life and my spending?

That’s the dream, right? To make 100k a year, only to spend 100k?

But that’s not me. That’s not fulfilling for me. I’ve always known to myself that money, pleasure, and superficial and external items don’t fulfill me. I’ve never had the latest phone or the newest car, not because I couldn’t afford it, but because I didn’t want it. And I’m not even saying that as a subtle way of bragging (because humility to me is the most important trait), but as a serious question to myself. 

So what now?

And this feeling is such a hard feeling that I believe a lot of people share. After you’ve reached a certain level of financial freedom where you can almost put your life on cruise,  what do you then pursue?

And I guess that will be my goal for the year: To find out what my new goal is, to figure out what I should be pursuing that I can be fulfilled by. 

I hope you can relate or maybe even drop some advice. 

Thanks for reading,