Have you ever found an old diary, a note saved on your phone, a photograph, or even a little trinket that you had when times were tough? And when you look at that note, or hold that item in the palm of your hands it’s as if all the words that could describe that moment are gone.
You feel that lump in your throat, your eyes start to tear up, and the emotions pour into you like you’re reliving a moment in your life you’ve not thought about for years. But yet here it is again, back in full force.
It could be a sad moment, it could be a happy one. The point is, the emotions are still there. The connection to that moment was never severed, but rather it was tucked away, waiting to be rediscovered.
I had that moment today, and let me tell you, I was not ready.
The emotions hit me like a truck without brakes.
It was from something I wrote almost 6 years ago, and I’d like to share it.
I feel as if I’m losing right now. Everything is going wrong, or at least that’s what it seems. And in the same way my life is going wrong, I see others, and I see their successes, their happiness, and it feels like, in a way, they’re gloating. They’re saying, “look at me and how wonderful my life is!” and, well, I’m not angry or jealous (maybe I am?), but rather, I think, when that time comes for me, I’ll appreciate it all the much more.
This hurt to read. It hurt alot more than I could even imagine it was supposed to hurt.
The thing is, I don’t know why it hurt so much. I’m looking at my life now and can honestly say things did work out for me.
But the person who wrote that 6 years ago didn’t know that.
And I think that’s why it hurts to read. I can feel the pain in his words, but can appreciate the optimism he still holds.
I see the guy who, despite all that had happened, still holds his head up high , but is not dishonest with himself. He acknowledges it hurts to see others succeed while he fails. It hurts to know that some people are living their best life while you’re living your worst.
And it reminded me of another piece I wrote a few months later titled “To my 16 year old self”
The message was “It’ll be alright”.
And while I read that, too, I remember what I felt during that time. Life had started to turn around for me. Things were starting to get better, and I could honestly say that life was okay.
And this is why I titled this the way I did.
There’s this saying that I’ve heard by marketers, and I actually agree:
“They won’t remember what you said, but rather, how you made them feel”
And this is true not only about the people you meet, but the small things we keep from our past, and in my past I’ve kept the things I wrote as my own reminder.
Some days I have a hard time appreciating everything I have and who I get to share it with, and I’d like to do better about that. I don’t want to take these moments for granted.
That’s why I continue to write. These writings will be here for me when I’m older so that I can travel back in time and relive who I was today even when I’m decades older.
I encourage anyone reading this to find something that will connect you back to important moments in time. It could be a picture, but I think writing and your own words are much more powerful.
I know they say “a picture is worth a thousand words” but your own words hold so much more meaning because they are your words, your thoughts and convey your emotions and your thought process in that moment. In essence, it’s literally you because it is you.
So hopefully this is your sign to start writing more.
Thanks for reading!
Cory
New Age Lessons 